Ending Physical Punishment: Why Children Deserve Equal Protection

Abuse does not begin as a headline. It starts small, excused, minimised, and justified under the language of “discipline.” It begins in silence, behind closed doors, when harm is normalised and a child is taught that pain is acceptable. The law in England and Northern Ireland allows this.

That is why I will not stay silent.

This week, I joined the NSPCC at Parliament to support their call for Equal Protection for children, a campaign to end the legal defence of “reasonable punishment” in England. Right now, physical punishment of children is still legal. If a parent hits a child, they can defend their actions in court by claiming it was “reasonable.” We would never allow that defence between adults. Yet children, the most vulnerable, receive less legal protection from violence than adults. This is not protection. This is a failure of responsibility and a failure of law.

I am a survivor of childhood abuse. I know what it means to grow up in fear and to be failed by the very systems and laws that are supposed to protect children. Physical punishment was part of my story. It began as control disguised as discipline, and it escalated. Abuse often does.

I am now a clinical psychologist, and I specialise in working with trauma and with people who have been silenced. I use my voice not to evoke pity, but to demand change, because no child should ever wish for death just to find peace from harm. I will always speak the truth: violence against children is never “reasonable.”

The Equal Protection campaign is not anti-parent. It is not about criminalising families. It is about protecting children from violence and giving them the same legal rights as every other person in society. Scotland and Wales have already banned physical punishment. More than 65 countries have taken this step. England is being left behind, and children are paying the price.

At the House of Lords, I was invited by Baroness Finlay to join a discussion with MPs and lived experience voices alongside the NSPCC. It was powerful to stand in that room and hear one clear message: the law must change. Children are not property. They are not possessions. They are human beings with rights.

Some argue that banning physical punishment will “criminalise parents.” This argument is based on fear, not facts. In countries where physical punishment has already been banned (of which there are many!), there has not been a rise in parents being prosecuted for light discipline. Instead, there has been an increase in support for families, early intervention, and positive parenting guidance. The focus shifts from punishment to education, which is what children need.

We must ask ourselves a difficult question: why are we more concerned about protecting adults from accountability than protecting children from harm? We would never defend a teacher hitting a student, a doctor hitting a patient, or a man hitting his partner. So why do we allow it when the victim is a child?

The science is clear: physical punishment harms children.

Physical punishment does not improve behaviour. Instead, it increases psychological difficulties such as anxiety and shame. It damages trust and teaches children that love is conditional and safety is unpredictable. The developing mind is influenced by how it experiences others. Such experiences shape the way the child sees themselves, others, the world around them, and how to regulate (or not) their emotions. The effects do not end in childhood, they follow people into adulthood and can present in many forms, including trauma related symptoms, relationship difficulties, mental health struggles and physical health impacts.

Research in neuroscience and psychology shows that violence in childhood changes the developing brain. It even leaves epigenetic marks, altering how genes are expressed and increasing vulnerability to long-term health problems. Trauma isn’t just emotional, it’s biological. When we allow violence against children under the guise of “reasonable punishment,” we are harming not just their present, but also their future.

Discipline does not require violence.

Children do not need to be hit to learn. They need boundaries, consistency, emotional safety and guidance from adults who teach by example. Discipline is not about fear, it is about teaching. There are countless safe and effective ways to guide behaviour without causing harm: calm communication, clear expectations, natural consequences, time to reflect, co-regulation and emotional coaching.

Violence is not a parenting strategy. It is a failure of support. When parents are given access to better tools and guidance, families thrive. When the law excuses violence, it sends a dangerous message, that children’s pain is acceptable.

This is a defining moment for children’s rights.

I will not stop using my voice until children’s rights are taken seriously in this country. A society is judged not by its wealth or power, but by how it protects its most vulnerable. Children deserve safety. They deserve dignity. They deserve equality in the eyes of the law.

Physical punishment is not “reasonable.” It is preventable harm. It is time for England to join Scotland, Wales and the growing number of countries that have ended violence against children in the home.

If you believe children deserve equal protection under the law, please stand with us.

Sign the NSPCC petition here: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/support-us/campaigns/end-physical-punishment/

Share this message. Start the conversation. Protect children.