I was failed by the very services that are supposed to protect me.
So many other people have been failed.
Have you heard about the Rotherham child sexual exploitation scandal? It has been described as the "biggest child protection scandal in UK history". It involves over 1500 children who had experienced unfathomable abuse. An independent report by Professor Alex Jay highlighted how there were "collective failures" of political and officer leadership, with the problem minimised by senior leadership within social care, and with victims regarded "with contempt".
It is a brave decision to report a crime. A victim deserves to be heard and to be taken seriously.
The Criminal Justice System (CJS) is a collection of agencies including, but not limited to, the police, the courts, and the Ministry of Justice. The CJS proposes to be involved in the detection and prevention of crime, prosecuting people accused of committing crimes, conviction and sentencing of those found guilty, and imprisonment and re-habilitation of ex-offenders.
The Crown Prosecution Service state that they "treat all victims and witnesses with respect and understanding throughout the criminal justice process." Furthermore, "if you've been a victim of rape or sexual assault, there is extra support available to help you through the criminal justice system". You may wonder what that additional support is. I can tell you from my personal experience, I was referred to the local SARC (Sexual Assault Referral Centre) where I was allocated to an Independent Sexual Violence Advisers (also called ISVAs). I found my ISVA to be of a great and much needed resource. However, I was referred to SARC before my case even touched the CPS.
Let's think about this: treat all victims with respect and understanding. Is that my experience?
No.
Here's why.
Let's start with the fact that when I was being abused between 2003-2008, the police attended the property multiple times. They were contacted due to concerns about my welfare. I know of one person who contacted the police, I do not know who called the police for the other times that the police arrived at the property. I remember clearly how I wanted to speak with the police officer, however, I was banished upstairs, and the police only spoke with the person who abused me. They did not speak with me. They did not check that I was OK. It is beyond belief that the police would attend a property for concerns about the welfare of a child, and then not speak with the child. Every time the police came, I was left in more fear of my life. I quickly learned that they didn't want to know. They wanted an easy answer, to label me as a bad child, without even speaking to me, without considering the facts.
Now, I took my survival into my own hands at the age of 16. I moved into a youth hostel and then shortly after this, I moved into my own flat. She continued to haunt me. I had no credit thus, I could not get a new phone contract or sim. She would ring me all hours of the day and night on withheld and different numbers. She would follow me in the street, by foot and by car. I rung the police, multiple times. I told them what I endured. I told them she abused me. I told them I wanted her to leave me alone. Guess what they did? They provided her with harassment warnings. No investigation into the abuse. As a teenager, my understanding was that if you tell a police officer you are abused, that it will be taken seriously, recorded and escalated appropriately. Did that happen? No. The police took the easy option of providing harassment warnings. It blows my mind that they put a "vulnerable" marker on my address, yet didn't take my reports of childhood abuse seriously. Even though there was evidence (including CCTV) of her continuing to haunt me. Imagine if the police had properly investigated? Imagine the abundance of evidence? Imagine the outcome. I have no doubt that I would have had justice.
Fast forward to June 2020, my two worlds collided. It was brought to my attention that the person who abused me was claiming that I had a child who had died. I knew she would never stop. I would always live in fear about her next step. I needed to have her stopped. I reported it to the police on the 20th June. A police officer attended my property on the 21st June to take an initial statement. On the 22nd June, a police officer had spoken with her, and she claimed to be "mentally unwell", trying to excuse her behaviour. It felt as if she was going to get away with it all, all over again. Enough was enough. I asked both police officers how to pursue taking proceedings further and having it again recorded about the childhood abuse I experienced. For two weeks, the two police officers told me differing information, each citing the other constabulary responsible for recording the crime. How, in 2020, was it still the case that no one wanted to listen to what had happened to me? It is no wonder that so many crimes go un-reported. I felt like giving up. But I couldn't. I needed to be free. I was finally listened to after begging a 101 operator to take my initial statement as I reflected to her the conversations I had had with two police officers for two weeks. Finally, two detectives arrived at my door. Now, I felt heard and believed about these two detectives. They told me historically, "no one wanted to hear about childhood sexual abuse, especially if it is within a family", they also said "the police are trying to get better at listening". This was both validating and infuriating. It may not be nice to hear that someone has been abused, but it is far worse for the victim.
For me, it was incredibly important that I met with the barrister presenting my case in court. I needed him to hear what had happened to me. I was told that such meetings are only offered for "exceptional cases". After further reading, I actually discovered that this should be available for any victim of a sexual assault case. Again, having to fight for just the basics.
I was clear throughout these proceedings that the person who abused me had a diagnosis of factitious disorder. That she had a history of fabricating and inducing illnesses and injuries. That this was also part of the abuse I experienced. That she would do all that she could to avoid and be in control. She repeatedly demonstrated this by moving address (and providing a false address), to claiming she was too “unfit” to stand trial, to attending hospital the night before the scheduled trials. Whilst she was on bail due to her attempts at evading justice, it still felt that she was allowed the power to cause postponements and delays. I was told repeatedly that someone is only unfit to stand trial if they are palliative, that she would not be able to avoid forever. Well, she killed herself on the morning of the trial when she knew her time was up. The ultimate avoidance. Was I taken seriously? No. As a result, I am the one left without justice.
I have been begging for a meeting with my barrister for four months. I wanted to have an "ending". An opportunity for reflection, to have unasked questions answered. Was I afforded this? Only when I complained....
So, what do we do about this injustice? What I have done so far?
I have wrote a letter to:
Attorney General,
Secretary of State for Justice,
Director of Operational Change and Delivery for the Crown Prosecution Service.
I have submitted a freedom of information (FOI) request regarding the number of deaths, in particular, suicide, during criminal proceedings.
I have raised official complaints with the Crown Prosecution Service, the Rape and Serious Sexual Offences (RASSO) unit, as well as the Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC). I find it interesting that when raising these complaints, I was suddenly offered a meeting with my barrister. This meeting did not offer an ounce of the closure that I had hoped, instead, fuelled my rage further. I was told "it is uncommon for defendants to die during proceedings, never-mind by suicide", as if that is an excuse for the lack of care and due process for me as the victim. I was told I should have received a closing letter and offered a meeting, but I wasn't. Apparently, someone had decided that because I had been told that the defendant had died that that was enough. I would love to know the thought process behind that. I was told that there had been a mistake and that they were sorry. A mistake? Again? How many mistakes and how many sorry's until something changes?
I have had enough.
Watch this space.